James Reynolds has been playing Abe Carver on Days of our Lives on and off since 1981. Abe had two great loves in his life: Lexi, the mother of Theo, and his current wife, Paulina. Last year, Abe found himself in a hospital room with them both, a dying Paulina, and a dead Lexi. But which one was his favorite? Reynolds spilled the beans in a brand new book, Super Soap Scenes: A Time Capsule of Daytime Drama’s Greatest Moments, available now:

Abe’s Torn Between Two Women

You have to play it as true as possible. If you don’t have verisimilitude, then you really aren’t doing your job. You have to play it as honestly as you can. As if the spirits of ex-wives show up all the time. But you have to play the surprise, too. When ghosts suddenly materialize in front of you, if you don’t play it surprised, it’s not honest. But once you accept the idea that this entity is here, then how do you continue that? It’s a little bit like being caught with the other woman.

You’ve got two women that he truly loves. The love isn’t really different. You’ve got one that nobody else can see, and you’ve got your real wife, who is maybe about to join the old wife. So part of what I was thinking when I was looking at these scenes is that, early on, he’s got to be a little put off by just the idea that there are two women in this room whom he’s had very strong relationships with. There’s all these little things that come in, and you hope that you can play all of them so the audience has a sense of what he’s feeling.

Pick Me Girls

Abe and Lexie [Renée Jones] were soulmates. They had that connection that was magnetic and instant and there was a lot of fire on both sides. They were a couple that shared a lot of passion in the way they lived their lives. They were ambitious; a young, upwardly mobile couple. That was something that defined them. There was such a connection between Abe and Lexie.

Paulina [Jackée Harry] and Abe is a more mature relationship. From Abe’s point of view, whereas he might have been more passionate about some issues with Lexie, he is more understanding with Paulina. He’s more willing to back off and let the relationship simmer, as opposed to the younger relationship where it’s just: You’re wrong, I’m right, I’m going to win this. As you get older, there’s much less of that. You ask yourself, what’s valuable here? Winning the argument or having a pleasant, peaceful existence. We all go through that. Abe, in this relationship, is more attuned to the totality of the relationship, not who is right or who is wrong.

Read more from Reynolds, including his thoughts on being one of the first and few African-American leading men on daytime in Super Soap Scenes: A Time Capsule of Daytime Drama’s Greatest Moments.